Lesson 11: Trials are Trendy
Lesson 10: Hygiene is Dead
Who knew it would become so cool to ignore all other news and get completely livid over something that has nothing to do with you? I’d join in, but I’ve really never been that cool - why start now?
Lesson 9: Align Your Goals
When you share a bathroom with your coworkers, you should at least pretend to wash your hands.
Lesson 8: Tailor Your Ads
Dilemma: I’m not ready to be a mom, but I want to be a MILF. Solutions?
Why is it that Pandora ads are in Spanish, even when I set it to Lynyrd Skynyrd? Do they seriously think that the members of Skynyrd Nation comprenden Español?
Lesson 7: At Least She’s Good at Something
Parents, if your daughter could be on “Toddlers and Tiaras,” you should just go ahead and install a stripper pole in her room now so she can practice for the inevitble.
At least then she’ll be good enough to entertain the weekend crowd instead of the Monday brunch. There’s no crown, but it’s better for the self-esteem.
Lesson 4: Boys Just Don’t Get It
Lesson 6: Brought to you by Jack Black
If you’re not using the “c” word, you’re really missing out.
Lesson 3: Google is God
Me: (suggestively) You could buy me lingerie…
Him: You have you’re own money.
Me: Let me rephrase; You could buy me lingerie, and then I could wear it.
Him: (long pause) Oooooooooh!
If you can spell “Google,” you can spell anything.